Friday, April 2, 2010

Conversations

Over the past weekend we drove out to the new house to check out the progress that was made. It is really coming along. Both bathtubs and the shower have been installed, electrical boxes and recessed lighting are in place, and the duct work has been put in. While we were there, we noticed that a window in the garage had been broken.



Well, that kinda sucks... I'm sure it was the result of a double or triple dare from one neighborhood kid to another. There are no doors on the house yet, and there are huge dirt and sand piles outside. The house is like a life size play house just asking for kids to play in it. And the broken window is not a huge deal. It was a standard size window and has actually already been replaced. We obviously won't have to pay for the new one or anything like that. It won't slow down the progress of the house. So why can't I stop thinking about it and the events that must have happened before and after the incident?

Because I don't want my kids to grow up and do crap like that.

And I don't know how to raise them to guarantee that they won't.

I want them to make responsible decisions. I want them to think before they act. I want them to value their property and other's. I want them to want to make us proud. I want them to realize that the decisions they make effect other people.

I'd like to think that I do all of these things. What did my parents do, while raising my sisters and I, to teach us to act this way? I'm not sure they would have an answer... or at least an answer that they could give me in under 30 minutes. Because it is just not that easy.

I always catch myself having conversations in my head with the boys in the future. I picture myself teaching them to drive and I'll make a note to remember to tell them to be sure to keep a safe distance between them and the car in front of them. And that being able to use the brakes less will extend the life of the breaks and lower repair cost. I imagine telling them the importance of treating all people with respect. I envision reminding them to think of other's feelings and to always hold the door open for the next person passing through.

And I guess maybe that is how it will happen. Through our conversations. I'm still scared that I don't yet know how to raise the boys to become the men that I want them to be. So I'll probably continue having these practice conversations in my head so that I'm prepared when the time comes. Man, this parenting gig is tough!

2 comments:

Lala said...

This may be my favorite blog post of all time. You will do great and your boys will become great men. I know we've all laughed before about how our parents did so well without ever making it obvious that they were teaching us life lessons. We just learned and knew what was right. Mom laughs sneakily and says it was all part of her master plan. Yeah yeah yeah. :) Love you !

JandCPitts said...

I, too, know you'll do great! So far, the best advice I have for you is to lead them by example. Kids are usually a product of their environment. Of course they are going to do things that you definitely know were not something that they ever saw or heard while with you, but for the most part I think it is true. If you show compassion & respect for others , then your kids will want to do the same. I agree this parenting thing is way harder than anyone can ever imagine!